


The Blue Bird

by ring_my_bell



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Fluff, M/M, Songfic, Surreal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ring_my_bell/pseuds/ring_my_bell
Summary: Like a blue bird in a cageObi-Wan has a strange dream.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Kudos: 23





	The Blue Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is the first time i tried writing a songfic (it's based on the music video for The Blue Bird by April) also it's my first time trying to write more surrealistical imagery! It was good to train my description on my writing. Hopefully you enjoy it!

_ What do I do? I feel strange these days _

_ I can’t sleep and I don’t have an appetite _

Obi-Wan found himself sitting on a red armchair, he looked around he saw many of the same armchairs around and in front of him a stage. The architecture was very archaic, this looked like a theater. Was this a dream? He was confused.

That’s when a copy of him appeared on the stage, the scenery was identical to his quarters in Coruscant back at the order. He was speaking to Anakin. Were these memories? He tried to listen more closely to the conversation. But for some reason he couldn’t. All he was able to notice, even from this far, was how Anakin’s blue eyes gleamed harshly. It stood out. In fact, almost every other blue colored thing seemed to shine brighter.

_ I think I found a person _

_ Who I want to do everything for _

‘Oh, Anakin…’ thought Obi-Wan as he looked intently at his doppelganger and Anakin chatting about something, they both looked happy. Obi-Wan could see from here the fondness in his copy’s face, the same fondness his own face expressed whenever that boy was close. 

Gloom filled his heart as he watched the performance of his memories, he loved Anakin too deeply, too deeply for a Jedi. His heart ached, But everytime he ever thought of telling him he stopped instantly, in fear their relationship would die out.

_ There were so many things I wanted to say _

_ But whenever I see you, I feel so small _

The scenery changed, now the actors were in a hill close to a waterfall in the distance their backs were to the audience. He noticed Anakin’s clone laid his head in Obi-Wan’s shoulder, were they involved romantically in this? Was this some kind of torture?

Funny how his unconscious mind would torture him like this, they would never be lovers. All he could do was watch that reality from afar, never experience it himself. It would never happen, he was stuck being a spectator to his own desires.

_ I wonder how I seem to you _

_ (I have something to say) _

The waterfall was an unnatural shade of blue, the whole scenery was very artistic. Maybe this was a planet close to Coruscant? The vegetation was similar, they could possibly go there to talk, to just enjoy a bit of free time. Of course thinking that was pointless, they would never be like their copies on the stage, still… Obi-Wan felt such satisfaction seeing them interact like lovers, it hurt yes, but that still fed a small possibility in his heart that they could be like that in the future.

Did Anakin ever catch on his infatuation? Obi-Wan hid his feelings well, but their bond was very deep, Anakin always noticed the smallest things in his master’s attitude and mood. He was scared maybe he had figured it out. But if he had, he was sure that Anakin would be disgusted by it, so it was unlikely.

__

_ I wanna say it all, they say you’ll get sick if you keep hiding _

_ My heart won’t work like I want it to _

The scenery changed again while Obi-Wan was lost in thought. Now it was a strangely decorated room with a bright blue door behind his doppelganger, he locked the door and looked at the audience, multiple other clones of him appearing, all of them showing some form of distress, the original doppelganger sat down on a close chair and started to weep. It was confusing.

Was this some kind of metaphor? He was stuck in his own thoughts so much, he was pained and suffocated, it made a little sense. He wanted so much to tell his padawan how he felt, tell him how much he loved him, how much he’d do anything to him...

_ It gets heavier, the more it grows _

_ I keep getting scared _

Seeing all of his doppelgangers distressed made him uneasy as well, it was like looking at the sea of his own unconscious, his fears, his sadness, his sorrow all taking shape. He himself felt a tear slide down his cheek. Love hurt so much, sometimes he felt as if he had been a good Jedi and cut his own feelings towards Anakin before… he wouldn’t hurt so much right now

But he didn’t want to, he never felt so alive and happy with someone before, even if Anakin didn’t reciprocate, his mere presence made his life much happier. Anakin was everything to him, which is why he was hesitant in disclosing his feelings to him. But he has lived so long burying his own feelings for the Jedi code, but this one was the hardest one. 

_ What if only pain remains? _

_ What if you never see me? _

_ Like a blue bird in a cage _

Any outcome of this hopeless love ended in misery for him. Never tell Anakin, he would go down to his grave, bottling up his love, in pain of an unrequited affection and the uncertainty of a response. Or tell him and suffer the consequences of rejection and maybe losing their relationship as is, losing Anakin would pain him way too much, he could never handle it.

The scenery changed once again, now he saw Anakin and his clone sparring with their lightsabers, they glowed blue, more than they usually did. Actually upon looking more closely, only blue colors stood out, everything else was grayscale. Anakin and his clone sparred, the clash of their lightsabers sending noise throughout the theatre. He could see the passion in both of the men’s blue’s eyes, that shone fiercely. He really felt like that when sparring with Anakin, or fighting alongside him. They both seemed to know each others movements perfectly. 

__

_ There were so many things I wanted to say _

_ But whenever I see you, I feel so small _

_ I wonder how I seem to you _

After the sparring session, he saw his younger self now and Anakin when he was still a Padawan. They were meditating together. This was when Obi-Wan started to attach himself to him… When he noticed Anakin had grown into such a handsome young man his love for him started to warp and change. He felt despicable… he never should have seen him like this. But he couldn’t help it.

Anakin was such a handful when younger, he still is honestly, but he adored training him, to spend time with him, to have him share his insecurities with him. Anakin rapidly turned into his whole life. The young Anakin opened his eyes and smiled at the doppelganger who was still with his eyes closed, he quickly stole a kiss from his master. Obi-Wan’s copy opened his eyes and smiled. He spoke something, probably scolding him about doing that. But still he caressed his cheek and retrieved the kiss. The both of them went back to meditating. Was this how they would be if Anakin loved him back? As early as this? 

_ I wanna say it all, they say you’ll get sick if you keep hiding _

_ My heart won’t work like I want it to _

_ It gets heavier, the more it grows _

There were no more sceneries now, just the stage. His doppelganger was sitting at the edge of the stage holding a cage in his lap. Inside it a single blue bird stood. He looked directly at Obi-Wan. He lifted a finger to point to his side. Obi-Wan quickly looked and there was Anakin sitting next to him. Watching the spectacle. He was sure he wasn’t there before.

He reached to him, his hand landed on his shoulder. Anakin looked at him lovingly. Obi-Wan tried to speak, but nothing came out. His voice was stuck in his throat, he was desperate, he needed to speak to Anakin, to tell him about how he felt. He started to cry out of pain, his voice didn’t leave his throat no matter how much he tried and Anakin just stared at him. After a while, Anakin got up and walked towards his master’s clone. He climbed into the stage and sat next to the clone. After a while, he opened the bird’s cage with care, prompting him to fly out of it. The bird landed on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and spoke into his ears. It was nothing but a bird’s cry but he still understood it.

“Tell him…” He repeated to himself what the blue bird said. The lights started to go out, the doppelganger and Anakin disappeared. The armchairs as well, all that was left was darkness and the bird, glowing blue in his shoulder. That’s when he woke up. Obi-Wan was confused, the events of the dream seemed to make no sense, as expected of dreams, but still his unconscious seemed to want to tell him to act, to not hold his feelings anymore.

__

_ On a dark and sleepless night _

_ I looked at the sky and said _

He left his quarters, it was still pitch black outside. He went outside of the Temple and looked at the sky and thought. Maybe bothering Anakin right now was a bad idea, but right now he felt a surge of courage he was sure he would lose if he didn’t act now. After thinking for a while what to say, he started to look around for Anakin. He was probably sleeping in his quarters.

He knocked on the door. Not too long after Anakin opened the door, he was wearing his sleeping gown. He didn’t seem surprised by Obi-Wan’s presence this late at night. “Master?”

“Anakin… want to go for a walk? I’m afraid I’m having trouble sleeping, I could use someone to chat.” He said.

“What great timing, I can’t sleep too.” He smiled. “Let’s go”

_ Like magic, like my heart _

_ I want everything to start _

_ (I have something to say) _

They walked around the temple quietly at night, they stopped outside the temple where they wouldn’t bother anyone sleeping. Anakin looked at the sky. “The sky is beautiful tonight, clear sky, no clouds are covering the stars.”

“Yeah…” This was Obi-Wan’s chance, there was nobody around to see them or hear them and he knew he would lose all of his willpower if he didn’t do this now.

__

_ I wanna say it all, _

_ they say you’ll get sick if you keep hiding _

“Anakin I…” he stopped. “I have something important to tell you.”

Anakin looked at his master. “What is it, master?”

“I…” The words got stuck in his throat.

_ My heart won’t work like I want it to _

_ It gets heavier, the more it grows _

“Is everything alright?” He put his hand on his master’s shoulder and looked at him worryingly

He ran a hand through his face, you can do this, he thought to himself. 

_ I keep getting scared _

_ What if only pain remains? _

_ What if you never see me? _

He looked at Anakin, he put a hand in his cheek. “I love you, my dear… I love you so much, it aches, I’m scared to lose you, lose what we already had by telling you. But you deserve to know.”

Anakin’s eyes widened, processing what Obi-Wan had just told him. “For… for how long?”

He sighed. “I’m ashamed to admit… for far too long, ever since you were a Padawan.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

“I was scared. I’m sorry.” He saw Anakin’s expression shift to something he couldn’t decipher. Anakin started crying.

“What? I’m sorry, I’ll do my best to try to forget about this, this conversation never happ--” Anakin lunged forward hugging Obi-Wan tightly. He was surprised but he returned it.

“This… is a dream…” Anakin spoke. “It can’t be real.”

“Huh? Why” 

_ Like a blue bird in a cage _

Anakin released Obi-Wan and looked at him. “I have loved you for just as long… We could have had… done so much.”

“What?” Obi-Wan was surprised. “You can’t be serious, Anakin. I’m just your boring old master.” Anakin interrupted Obi-Wan pressing his lips against his. It was a soft and long kiss. Time stopped while their lips were locked, nothing else mattered right now. Only them, together.

__

_ I have something to say _

After breaking their kiss to catch their breath Obi-Wan caressed his old padawan’s cheeks and whispered. “I guess… we have to catch up on the lost time, my dear.”

Anakin smiled. “Can you… can you say it again?”

“I love you, Anakin.”

“I love you too, Master.” 

After hearing that from Anakin, in his heart where he once had pain, sorrow and self-loathing… Now it was filled with bliss. Pure and profound bliss.

Whatever vision he had on that dream, he was glad he acted on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you all thought about it! I love feedback


End file.
